Tales from the Far East

I was working as a personal trainer in China. I think I encountered more culture shock at each trip to the gym than I ever did just meandering the streets in daily life encounters. My story is not merely one event, but a series of events that day after day had me wondering just what exactly I’d gotten into.

It all started with a trip to the only bathroom, which happened to be a co-ed squatty potty before my session began. I detected the disgustingly familiar odor of cigarette smoke seeping under the door. When it was my turn to go in, my client walks out with a sheepish grin and reeking of smoke. The cigarette butt sat smoldering in the toilet and ashes were strewn across the floor. This is gonna be a fun cardio session!

Another day, as I’m waiting for my client to arrive, a girl who could have walked right out of a hip hop magazine in the eighties walks by, jewelry just a jangling.

She walks into the cardio room, pops an obnoxious techno cd in the stereo, cranks it up to full blast and does about 3 minutes of booty shaking and gyrating. She then retrieves her cd and exits the building, still a jangling. After I retrieved my jaw from the floor, I met with my client. But the laughs just kept on coming.

I finish with my client, a middle-aged female wearing too much Spandex. As I’m regrouping and continuing on with my day, I notice my lady doing some form of belly dancing gone wrong in front of the mirror. Belly dancing might be too much of a compliment for this activity; it was more of a pelvic thrusting…and she just kept going! Oblivious to the world around her, she was practicing her moves for, well, those moves should be reserved for the bedroom.

A few mornings in a row, I noticed a group of skinny boys with tight clothes. Though school was in session, there were not in attendance, but most Asians age really well so age is impossible to guess. They mostly sat around and chatted. One boy actually fell asleep on the decline bench where I was headed for some ab work with my client. After I shook him awake, he just stood up and stared at me. Fast forward to the next morning. His smiling face greeted me as he quickly ran to grab a 5-pound dumbbell and squeeze out some curls with no shortage of swinging and flailing. I guess he wanted to prove his strength. I probably could have bench pressed him.

And to end on a most disturbing note: I was headed to the shower at the end of the day. There are common hair dryers that everyone shares but I guarantee you I won’t be using this one. Facing the mirror with his leg propped up on the sink was a man, stark naked and proudly blow-drying his package. Still can’t shake that image!

Sent in by Jen Olsen

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