Southern Movements in the Northern Hemisphere
One of my favorite parts about working in a smaller, private gym is the lack of corporate pressure to sell products and packages. There’s nothing worse than trying to convince someone to buy expensive stuff that they don’t need. The gym I currently work for offers supplemental health and weight loss products in a non-obtrusive “if you want it, we’ve got it” kind of way. It’s a product that I feel comfortable promoting as the ingredients are pure and the results are real. Still, I’m hesitant to push people toward any kind of product. My boss has sensed this hesitancy.
When I inquired about one of my client’s early morning eating habits, she responded that of course she eats breakfast…lots of croissants were a great choice right? I tried to keep my jaw from hitting the floor as I stepped up onto my soapbox to rant against white carbs. When my rampage ended, she told me that she needed something quick that tasted good and would keep her full. So I asked what kind of foods she liked. Her response? Ya know, normal stuff like ice cream, cookies, and things like that.
Fast-forward to another client who has hit a plateau after great success dropping 12 pants sizes on an unnamed diet that fills your body with fatty meats and avoids carbs like the plague. As I strove to convince him of the merits of balance and fiber in his diet, my mind flashed to Elvis, King of Rock ‘N Roll who died with pounds and pounds of undigested meat in his colon. Was he on this same diet?
I’ve only met one other person who shares my passion for discussing bowel movements and hates nothing more than when things are not “moving” properly. This untamed passion spills over into discussion with my clients. It probably scares them a bit, but they keep coming back for more.
Jump back to my hesitancy over promoting the aforementioned weight loss product. My questions: where are the veggies? Where’s the fiber coming from? My boss has recently discovered my passion for the southern movements of the body and used this as ammunition to get me to attend a sales conference for this particular product. After a video at this conference, I was convinced.
This product was originally marketed in a large, formerly Communist country of the northern hemisphere. Apparently with their meat and potatoes diet, they struggled with being a rather backed up. Selling point for me: a large man from this country was filmed on stage, arms above his head in a victorious gesture, and with broken English he exclaimed, “Finally, I poop normal!”
I hope my clients who are now on this product can proudly declare the same!
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